My Natural Attraction

No, I’m not talking about people.

I was thinking that with the ULTRA, I should be able to compile a list of what genres I tend to be attracted to.  After making an Excel sheet and messing around with stuff in there I created this table. 


Explanation from left to right: First Person Shooter (FPS), Third Person Shooter (TPS), Turn-based RPG (TBRPG), Turn-based Strategy (TBS), Real Time Strategy (RTS), Racing (RC), Action Adventure (AA), Classic Adventure (CA), Puzzle (PZ), Action RPG (ARPG), Platformer/Platforming (PLAT), MMORPG, Fighting (FG), Simulation (SIM), Survival (SURV), MOBA, Music (MUS), Metroidvania (VANIA).

Two notes:

  • I separated RPGs and Shooters in general to create large, chunked versions to compare those two genres because I knew they would be the highest numbers.  
  • And through this second, improved version (I had another excel sheet that was not as good), I was able to have games count as multiple genres.

The lowest count genres are Turn-Based Strategy, Real Time Strategy, MMORPGS, and music.  Even combining strategy genres, it still isn’t that much of a count.  I grew up in the era when strategy games were huge, and now, other than a couple of grand strategy games, it really has dwindled.  It’s being kept alive by things like Civilization, Total War, and maybe Age of Empires II and IV.  It’s really sad.  Starcraft and Starcraft II still live on for me though.  Very typically Asian of me.

MMORPGs are low count because it takes so long to invest in one to really recognize whether or not it’s a good MMO, so that would explain that.  I have played a ton of MMOs though, and let’s be honest the era of 2000s for MMOs were not that great.  It was ruled by like…World of Warcraft and Maplestory.  Most everything else was mediocre or way too filled with pay to win elements, which is what Maplestory has become now.

Unfortunately, Classic Adventure games are also low in count, but those have been some really great experiences, and I feel like they’re kind of niche even now.  Yet today there are some really good classic adventure releases that have dominated charts: games like Norco, Disco Elysium, and Kentucky Route Zero.  And I’ve only played one of those!

I was originally surprised by the amount of Fighting Games on there but then I realized half of them are probably Super Smash Bros.  Haha!  Puzzle games are also pretty low on the list, probably because I’m…not very good at them.  Oh wait, I realize I’m not good at fighting games or puzzle games, so that explains both!

I think Shooter games are so high on the list because I grew up with my brothers playing first person shooters a lot, so I’ve inherited a lot of that, and there are a lot of platforming games as well because I grew up with the SNES and the N64.  It also helps that those are the two genres I’m most proficient at, so of course I can enjoy them well.

RPGs are in such a large amount likely because of how emotional they tend to be.  They usually have good writing, or at least fun writing.  I also like games that tend to have political commentary on the sad state of things like Deus Ex: Mankind Divided or Path of Exile.  These games point out how grey the spectrum of human morality can be.  Sometimes there are no good choices and sometimes good people get caught up in bad things.  Some people really just want to be bad, but there are some people who just want to do good.  And some people in between, like in Baldur’s Gate or Mass Effect.  Oh darn it, I just chose two Bioware titles.  Okay, um, Guild Wars 2.   I love storylines that get caught up in the small nuances in life as well as the real and cheesy lessons.  I’ve stated before and I’ll say it again, the important lessons in life tend to be cheesy.  Games like Genshin Impact, Kentucky Route Zero, or Final Fantasy VI have these elements and help me reflect on myself.  

The final two reasons are very polar.  I like games that I have an emotional connection to.  I love Control, Perfect Dark, and Celeste.  I also love games that are extremely well designed.  Games like Dishonored 2, Super Mario Odyssey, Donkey Kong Country 2: Diddy’s Konquest, and Hollow Knight.  This isn’t to say I have no emotional connection to them, but a huge chunk of the enjoyment I received in addition to my personal experience was because of how well they were made.  The disparity between emotion and technical don’t negatively affect each other, but the objective difference is huge.  

Enough about me.  What genres do you lean towards?  And what are some examples from those genres that you really like?  Are there any games that helped you become a better person or helped you get through a difficult time in life?

Thanks for reading, and I hope that you find more games to put into your lists of favorites!

Elise

Note: My work will continue to be pretty intense so my posts will be scarce until about September 12th.  I will still try to post at least once a week, but we’ll see. 

Loud Voices, Small Voices

Voices in the Crowd

I’ve been thinking a lot about yesterday’s post.  I don’t apologize for a lot of it.  Most of it had to be said.  Perhaps it was not as celebratory as it should’ve been.  This is Game Praisers, but I also need to state some crap going on.  And while it is all true, we should continue in a different iteration.

Let’s be honest, I’m a pretty…pessimistic person.  I don’t know if it’s my anxiety and me thinking about bad things over and over and over again.  Supposedly I have a dark sense of humour as well, but I can’t really tell.  So I admit I do tend to focus on the negative, which is partially why I started Game Praisers to help me be more positive.  While this has indeed helped me see the positives of video gaming, especially with the good community I’ve run into here, people are a whole different matter.

I’m trying to see and understand that there are so many good people in the game community.  I have had good experience in Genshin Impact, and I’m sorry if I made it seem like I didn’t appreciate it.  It is a really fun game and I absolutely love the world and its characters.  I let the loud voices of the ugly people get the best of me.  I have met people who wanted to learn more about Chinese culture, and that’s all I’m going to say.

Look in any place where the players are allowed to say anything, and there will be loud, supported, angry players whinging about the most unimportant or specific of things.  Once you’re allowed to be anonymous, people will say the worst of things, but I have to also remember that most of the crowd consists of the silent majority.  There are a lot of people that are good that support others and they just don’t say anything. 

All the kind Guild Wars 2 players that go out of the way to help me when I’m down are a good example.  Guild Wars 2 seems to have an abnormal amount of kind people in it.  On the Steam launch, which I believe happened yesterday, there were tons of people that were prepared to help new players.  It was so wonderful.  There are loud, irritating people in Guild Wars 2 still, but there are just so many nice people that they get drowned out.  I really wouldn’t mind that in the other game communities.

But that’s just it.  I bet they are there.  They’re just quiet.  They’re reading.  They’re ignoring the comments.   They just love their game and play it.  I’ve been thinking about this a ton since yesterday and I am so happy and joyful that there are cool people out there in the gaming community that I genuinely would like to meet.  Although, I will probably disappear afterward and never be heard from again because I will be overthinking everything, but there is hope in it all.

It is good to have hope in the gaming community, because, let’s be honest, it usually doesn’t look great for us.  I think I have to change my perspective a bit and have more hope.  I don’t want to become insensitive to the rude people I always see, but I also need to keep myself focused on the hope that there is still humanity left in the community of gaming.
Thanks for sticking around!  I’ll see you again soon.

Elise

Genshin Impact: 2 Years

Cultural Impact…for better or worse?

Warning: This is a bit rantish and raw.  

Wow.  It has already been two years since Genshin Impact was released.  Time flies, but life hasn’t been really fun.  Luckily, Genshin has been.

I’m just going to take this time to talk about a couple of things in my experiences of Genshin Impact.  

Point 1: The Mobile Game

Genshin Impact changed my view of the mobile game.  I think I became looser about how I feel about games that eat time and demand.  I’m still, like, super upset that things like dailies and stuff vie for my time, but underneath all that junk is a really good game.  And the more I think about it, the more I realize that a lot of mobile games are like that.  The okay junk, like dailies, show up in other games too.  I guess that doesn’t make it that much better.  And the advanced junk like gacha mechanics are still just that: junk.

But good mobile games are out there, and the artists and programmers really just want it to be good.  I can definitely say that with Genshin Impact.  The music is phenomenal.  The gameplay is great fun.  I love the lore!  This is just something that I feel like really…impacted my view.  

Point 2: Representation

I’m not talking about the representation of the people in the game and how each region in the world of Teyvat kind of represents a place on Earth.  I mean just the representation of Chinese video game development.  It has been up and down.  It’s been up because people can see that Chinese developers can make something original.  Down, because there is still a lot of ignorance in some of the ways they represent some peoples.  I don’t just mean stereotypes.  I mean like how in the new region coming out today, Sumeru, the people…really should have darker skin.  

Nontraditional story arcs or character developments are also something that you see.  A lot of Chinese stories end unfairly and things don’t have a happy ending.  A bit of a spoiler, but some arcs don’t end in a resolution.  They always say “to be continued”, so eventually I’m sure they’ll do something, but to have an entire series of quests just end, that’s normal.  Tragic endings that feel like they’re unnecessary are rooted in real life problems.  Sometimes people make bad choices when there are obviously good ones.  Sometimes time takes its toll on people and there won’t be a good ending.  Even the way certain jokes present themselves feels more familiar to me.  Several times these came up as negative points for my United States acquaintances.  (I’m not going to say friends.)  This kind of brings me to my last point.

Point 3: Racism

Uh oh.  Yeah, I bring this up a lot, for obvious reasons.  Perhaps I’m putting myself at risk for this, but…I have to say something. I really thought that having Chinese names in the game would help people be a little more understanding.  And while this has brought a lot of people more willing to be more respectful to things like names and stuff, it also has revealed how some of the people who are my…”acquaintances” just don’t really care about their approach to my, or maybe any, culture.  Ah, scratch that.   In this anime context, it’s mine specifically.

There is a subcategory of racism as a Chinese person that you realize growing up in a place that isn’t Chinese.  If you’re not one of the “popular” or even unfortunately, “fetishized” categories of Asian, then you’re not “as good”.   If you’re not Korean or Japanese.  I can’t tell you how awkward it is to have people be disappointed because they found out I wasn’t either of the two.  And yet, somehow we’re praised on very specific things about our culture: things like martial arts, being studious, and our cuisine.  It just makes us feel very exoticized.  The moment it encroaches on things like anime, suddenly we have to be separated.  I can’t tell you how many times I’ve spoken to anime fans about Chinese anime, and they absolutely must point out that it’s not anime, it’s donghua.  Or how they just need to play Genshin or watch anime in Japanese because they can’t bear the Chinese.  According to them, they’re not racist or anything.  Sure.  Keep in mind these are not people that understand Japanese.  They just need Japanese over Chinese.  

I’ve experienced a lot of mispronunciation of names in my lifetime, and seeing it happen in Genshin is kind of a bummer.  I was with a group of Genshin players chatting around and they would use some nickname or joke name for the Liyue characters, but when someone pronounced one of the Inazuma character’s name wrong, they were corrected and taught how to say it correctly.  Why the double standard?  It always reminds me of that kids book, That’s Not My Name!, I see on Instagram by Anoosha Syed.  Now, maybe people think, well we don’t even say Chinese names often, that’s why!  Well, if you never try in the first place, how are you ever going to get to the point of often?  

Do you want to know what the saddest part is?  Even the Hoyoverse, the developers, know all this Chinese-Japanese stuff.  They always state the Japanese voice actors/actresses for the English audience.  They know that feeling like a Japanese game is part of its selling point.  You could say it’s “just marketing”, but that’s also saying “that’s the current reality and I don’t want to deal with it.”  That’s just the hard truth.  And unfortunately I don’t have the choice of not dealing with it.  



Sorry.  Well, I really shouldn’t have to say sorry at all actually.  After all these years of playing video games I was just hoping that for once something would go right for Chinese-based things without exoticisms, colonialism, or that kind of stuff.  Maybe I expected too much of the community, which is a really sad thing to say.  

But.  The few individuals that I meet that have changed because of this…  maybe it makes it all worth it?  I’ve left all the Genshin groups that I was a part of, and I have once again become a hermit after trying to join a community.  Burn all the bridges.  This happens all the time.  So I’m pretty certain to some extent, it’s just me.  A lot of the negative is probably just me, right?  But when I walk out of the virtual door and into the community I think, it can’t just be me.

Genshin Impact.  You’re a really great game.  But for this person who lives under a rock, I guess it is too much to wish for a community I didn’t feel like I have to walk away from for the most unfortunate of reasons.  Once again, I’ll be playing solo.


Sorry.  I had to say something.  These next two or three weeks will have work getting intense, so forgive me if I don’t pop in as I usually do.  And thanks for enduring all that.  Keep in mind that I do have severe anxiety and depression, so perhaps this is just a side effect of my mind against the community, but writing it off because of that doesn’t really seem like the healthy or right thing to do either.  

If I haven’t run you off, thanks for staying.  I’ll see you again soon.

Elise

Sentimental ULTRAs

In a minute, I’mma need a…

Objective lists of bests always make me scratch my head.  I know there will always be at least some bias in lists, but my favorite rankings I hear from people I talk with are the ones that are very emotionally biased.  I’m talking nostalgia, events that transpired during plays, purely sentimental acts, and emotions just taking over.  Even if this means emotionally attached to a certain game design.  Even if this means emotionally attached to a bad game design.


If you’ve been here, you’ve heard me talk about the ULTRA, the Ultimate Loosely-Thought Ranked Analysis.  This is my internal ranking of all the games I’ve ever played.  This list is processed by a current top twelve list that rotates as new games enter that list.  When games are added to that list and leave, they graduate to the ULTRA where they are ranked. 

There is no other process other than just sitting there thinking and discussing with other players.  Things move up and down that list all the time depending on discussions, thoughts, and epiphanies.  There is no extreme, numerical game design analysis.  It’s just thoughts.  While I have studied a lot about game and art design in video games, those things are not what I pride my list on.  I love my list because it’s so emotional.

When I speak to players I like to bring up the question, “What are some of your favorite games?”  I say “some of” because asking for a number one game is usually too difficult or stressful to answer.  Just give me a couple of games where, if you had to recommend to a random player, these are the ones you’d choose.  I want them to choose whatever loosely-thought, emotional choices they made.  I want to get to know the player as a person, not as a critic.  

Each viewpoint that the player brings to the table is what makes everything so unique.  Their likes and dislikes of the game tell me a story that gives me a greater understanding not just of their thought processes and perspectives, but also their goals and what they value.  I believe every experience in life does have an impact.  This is why I oppose those who bully others online and why I oppose those who think just because something inappropriate is on a screen and “isn’t real” is okay.  It’s the same emotional connection that gives the reason why you can’t go about saying that certain anime is okay even though there are definitely pedophilic things in it or other similar stuff.  Whether you like it or not, watching that thing is going to affect you for the same reasons that other “innocent” things affect you for good.  I can’t believe I’ve had to make that argument (and have it be ignored by said person).  Why do I always hate being part of this entertainment community?

I digress.  Let me talk about something a little less depressing.

I love Remedy Entertainment’s Control.  I deal with some addictions in my life, and I don’t handle them well.  I used to be addicted to gambling (darn you lootboxes), but thankfully I’ve gotten a lot better at that.  So that’s one of the many down.  I’ve been through therapy, drugs (ironically, for drugs), and other treatments.  It’s not an easy road, but it’s a road that always makes me feel like it is my choice.  Addictions blur the line between what is choice and what isn’t.  It also brings up a ton of other contextual sociocultural things that also ask the same question depending on said contexts.  It’s just…not fun.  (I hope if any of you are dealing with similarly degrading things that you are getting as much support as possible.)

Playing Control felt different.  I felt free.  It’s technically considered a horror game, and I don’t do well with those, but I managed to get through the main game.  (I haven’t finished the DLCs, I’m saving that for spooky month.)  I’ve thought about this a lot, and I’m not sure what it was.  That week I played Control I was free from all my addictions.  I felt like I really was in control.  It wasn’t because I played all day and night or anything.  They were normal sessions.  Maybe it was Jesse’s independent attitude and my role-playing as the characters that gave me strength.  Maybe it was the emotional connection I had with her confusing experience.  Maybe it was smashing stuff with the physics in the game.  What if it was just good gameplay and world building?  These are just some of the ideas, but I honestly can’t pinpoint why.  That whole experience is one of the biggest reasons why I love Control.  

It’s so…simple if you look at it.  The event was complicated for me, but if you look at it from the outside in, it seems so simple.  It’s very emotional, and it’s super insanely biased.  It is in fact, probably one of the most biased positions on the ULTRA.  Control sits at #6.

I think what I am trying to say is that I love people.  Don’t get me wrong, I am a hermit.  I rarely go to events for the social parts.  But I admit that I really love people.  Sounds like an oxymoron, but I think it somehow works.  I’ve been following other players like Later Levels, where life, games, and being a parent all coincide.  And how about The Gamer With Glasses, a gamer trying to get through life and talk about their love for RPGs.  Or Ace Asunder’s unique perspectives on gaming feel empowering and eye-opening.   Their views on games tell stories.  These are stories that help me grow.

I am far, far from a perfect person, especially as I have just been kind of vulnerable about my life just now.  I value the struggle, and all the hardships in my life have given me the opportunity to become a softer person.  I have chosen that.  I want to see that.  I want to see how video games are a force for good for people in the world.  How has gaming shaped struggles for you?  How has it helped, even in the most minor of ways?  


Hearing emotional lists and likes of games helps me realize that the player I am talking to is a human being, and with that human being comes struggle.  And with that struggle is usually someone who is trying to be a better person.  And with that striving person, maybe another reason for me to hate being part of this media community a little less and love it a little more.

Thanks for reading. I’ll see you again later this week if my work isn’t crushing my soul.

Elise

The Many Curious Ways for Developers to Siphon Your Money

Battle Passing the Baton

Okay, I know that a lot of the actual developers are not trying to siphon your money…it’s the people at the top.

Remarks aside, I’ve been thinking a lot about how the gaming world has changed the way we approach our video games monetarily.  I grew up seeing nearly the entire spectrum of what it is like paying for your games, and it’s very interesting to see younger gamers and their perspectives when they’re born into, or at least in the changing tides of it, things like live service games and DLC.  So let’s take a trip through time and see how gaming has set up the ways that they determine how much our money will be worth.  Just to let you know now, it’s a long trip.


Classic Retail

A long, long time ago games were just bought as physical productions.  Oh wait!  If you’re a console gamer this is probably still the case (mostly)!  Get it, the case?  I remember the era of the SNES and N64 where we had definite boxes with games, manuals, and sometimes other goodies inside.  I loved the flavor of the manuals and how some of them are written in ways that already feel like the game itself.  I miss manuals sometimes.  While classic retail style games did feel great, remember that if we head way back the prices adjusted for inflation would be really high.  And all of that for a pixelated Atari.  Well, graphics always seemed great for whatever generation they’re in, so I can’t really blame us there!

I think there seems to be a lot of gamers (or perhaps just loud gamers) who whinge about how games were already complete back then, and that is mostly valid.  Some games even in this age did need day one fixes.  This might’ve been worse, because then you’d have to physically send in your game for rewriting, and that would take a while.  Or worse, you just got a broken version of the game.  For glitchers and speedrunners, maybe this was alright, but if a game was bad back then, it had a very small chance of actually getting fixed.  However, the pressure of getting it right the first time is a very good thing to have on the companies, but remember that this didn’t solve everything.  We still had a ton of janky releases by developers who didn’t know what they were doing or were just seeking to nab the cash in your wallet.  Oh man, the transition to 3D.  Remember that?  *shudders*

Expansions and Level Packs

Expansions are still some of my favorite forms of continued development.  In a way, you can say these were the first DLCs, but expansions were consistently large chunks of content that tended to change the way the game was played.  I’m talking about things like Starcraft: Brood War, Medal of Honor: Spearhead, and any of the Guild Wars 1 expansions.  These were exciting bundles where you knew there was a good amount of content in them. 

But again, we can’t assume that this didn’t all just feel like DLC.  There were some things like Level Packs that really felt like DLC.  New levels are great, but these tended to not add any brand new content to the games.  Back then this could’ve been enough though, especially for those who were solely focused on those games.  Speaking of which, id just updated their level packs for their old series like DOOM and Quake, so that the games come bundled with them in a less confusing way.  Now they’re, like, giant versions of their old selves!  An old family photo if you will.

Mods and Indie Games

Let’s take a detour to mods and indie games.  I’m going to just put these here.  Even though these are free, they were a huge way to access new content for those who didn’t have the money, also known as me.  Mods are the way some games are born like Counter-Strike and sometimes entire genres like DayZ.  Modding your games, especially those from Source engine games, are good fun.  I mean, as long as no one is just using it as a way to steal content.  That’s…  yeah.

Indie games were my jam.  After taking an oath to solidify my approach to video games and also being poor, I turned to indie games.  I remember back then when indie games were super shaky.  The quality was usually not the best and you had to really search for good stuff.  I talked about some of this in my Celeste article.  Indie games taught me how to look for information about games on the web.  Now indie games are usually like normal games, but bite-sized.  

One more thing is a shout out to flash games on all those websites.  Mmm, some good times there.  Some of them have evolved and are now continued as normal games on Steam, like the Bloons TD series.  There are a ton of free games out there to play, and with things like Epic Games giving games out every week and free services such as Fall Guys, you don’t even have to pay any money to be a gamer at all!  Except for the gaming device. Which is a lot.  Sorry, I lied there.

Digital Storefront

Steam was slow to go into the household.  I was still young-ish and my parents did not trust these digital stores.  But I still somehow remember the old, super chunky, off-green UI.  Now, digital is like one of the main, if not the main storefront for gamers.  It’s so strange that it has been entirely converted in the past few decades.  Waaaait a minute, did I just say past few decades?  That makes me feel old.

Downloadable Content/DLC, and Cosmetics

This is the one I remember the huge controversy about.  Two words: Horse Armor.  Back in 2006 when one of the first major DLCs came out for Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion people were not happy.  I’m sure there is something out there that already had DLC, but this was the big one that really pushed DLC to be real.  Now DLC is everywhere.  It can be content that is as small as a new shirt for your character to wear, to something as big as an expansion.

Kind of in a similar way, cosmetics have also taken over the games industry.  I mean, we even have cosmetics for single player games.  Do I totally fall for these kinds of things?  Yes.  This is how I dress up since I don’t go outside and am a pale vampire.  I won’t really argue that cosmetics and DLC are evil or anything.  Some people are really happy with their purchases.  Which brings me to something a bit more …questionable.

Lootboxes, Mobile Game Leeches

Remember when lootboxes were actual, like, treasure chests in a game?  And now when you say lootbox people think of the gambling thing.  Lootboxes are a problem because they are predatory.  A lot of games set it up in that way, and let’s be honest not all gamers are ready or able to fight against that dope rush of opening this thing only to get…that duplicate item you already have.  I don’t really feel like lootboxes that are unbuyable are bad.  Those are no different from normal boxes.  They’re just presented differently.  But nowadays it’s always buyable stuff.  

Some people say that cosmetic only, buyable lootboxes are fine, but remember that it still involves the buyable gambling aspect and that can pose a risk for some gamers.  As long as we can feed money into the loop, it can be harmful.  I don’t care that I have worked on myself enough to the point where I don’t do that stuff anymore.  I don’t care that I can work myself to that point.  It’s the fact that there are some people still within that struggle who may not be successful.  We don’t know what is going on in their lives that is leading them to that, and I don’t want people to have to struggle with those unhealthy situations.  

Mobile games also prey in the same way.  They want you to just try one more time.  They want you to have to use that one cash item that will let you beat the level, or even…might beat the level.  I’m looking at you Candy Crush and all related situations.  These kinds of things can lead to insane amounts of profits, but it’s all feeding on people who shouldn’t have to suffer those kinds of things.  

It’s possible to argue otherwise, but I think these two things should go away.  I mean, lootboxes in their original forms of just treasure boxes in games can stay, but goodness, some of these things are horrifying.

Subscriptions and Game/Battle Passes

I put these two in the same category because they feast on the same thing: time.  You have already paid for your content and now it’s up to you to make use of it.  It’s almost like a, “it’s out of our hands” kind of approach.  I think these kinds of payments are great for those who focus solely on one game.  Those people will likely get the things they want out of it.  Let’s be honest, those free tiers on the battle pass are way less exciting though.  

I have some negative feelings about these because time is not something I have.  I’m always jumping around to different games and it’s hard to make me feel like I’m making good time.  Battle passes are cruel for me because they usually have such shiny, beautiful cosmetics.  There are some Battle Passes where you can earn some of the payment back in some…non-cash form such as getting the next pass free.  I think Warzone and Fortnite do this.  But that usually obliges you further to need to play the game.  And when playing becomes something that is against your choice, it’s very easy for the game to feel like a chore.  

It’s a weird thing when the company wants you to pay so that you might like their game less.  It’s even more awkward when people who play games for a living through things like Twitch show off the battle pass, because they play games for a living.  Of course the battle pass will be worth it for them.  But what about that woman who is working in the office and comes home exhausted some days because people are sexist and they really just want to be a blob on the couch?  Or a stay-at-home dad who is helping out the kids with…oh my goodness, whatever apocalypses kids create.  Maybe they can’t even play the game when kids are around because it’s too violent.  I mean, I’m kind of just spouting stuff, but these are also real situations for people where time consuming things like this just don’t feel as worth it.  And I would say that if we can’t pay with time we can pay with cash, but we’re literally paying with both of these things in this situation, so…  yeah.


And that’s it.  Well, I’m sure there are other things out there, but that’s most of it.  Thanks for taking this exhausting trip with me.  I like to be all happy and chummy with video games and the industry, but I have to also remember that sometimes the people leading the charge, like the execs, just want to make money.  And here we see the river of pain that flows through developers, artists, and then to the gamers.

I think in some ways, we’ve got a lot of good stuff going now.  Live service means a lot of free and fixed content.  It also means content can eventually feel ruined by a developer’s changing ideals. We get some really good deals on digital storefronts today that no one would’ve even dreamed of with physical stores, but a lot of the novelty is gone and now we have some suspicious ways of companies setting things up for money.  

I hope that didn’t make you feel too depressed!  Sometimes you have to take care of real life, your real self.  We’re gonna get through whatever else they throw at us (and maybe throw some things back).  So keep that money secure.  Take a deep breath and a step back.  Let’s focus on enjoying the game for ourselves.
I’ll see you again soon!
Elise

Advanced Boredom

Forest of the Mind

I’ve been writing articles, and I will write the whole thing thinking it was great.  I do the proofreading and realize…this article is not great.  I’ve done that a couple times now, and I guess I’m just not feeling it.  All the articles I’ve written were not cutting it.

But I also want to post more, so I will probably be posting more personal, normal stuff like this.  And don’t worry, they’re still mostly related to video games.  And maybe some other media.  The more I think about it, the more I realize how much design works with all media.  The same choice and consequence in designing a film or video game works in other places as well.  So I may be writing a little more on that as well.


So, Advanced Boredom is a state I’m in where I’m so bored that I can’t even choose to do the thing I want to do for fun.  I will switch shows, games, or books that I’m consuming every ten minutes.  It’s the worst.  It may be related to guilt or it may be related to …guilt except from lack of productivity.  Actually, it’s probably related to guilt.  It is not ADD or ADHD, because that seems to have been ruled out by the psychiatrist.  I do have attention problems, but, curiously enough, it is neither of those.  

In the state of Advanced Boredom, I do not feel productive with my time, especially in the consumption of entertainment, and I seek this out by traveling through the different layers of games to try and fulfill that.  Not fulfilling that means continuing the cycle.  And I finally found one of the ways to break that.  It is not always successful, and that usually means that the current boredom or stillness I’m in is not from guilt.

Oh, which brings to mind a point: Advanced Boredom is more like stillness.  I do not mean peace.  I mean stillness.  Like…an empty indoor pool.  Maybe you can hear muffled cars honking outside, and also the dripping of some water from somewhere.  The dull lights humming just enough that you can notice it.  This isn’t a fancy pool.  There is cement everywhere and very little glass.  No jacuzzi.

What do I do to get myself out of advanced boredom?  I have to consume or study something that is new.  I have to play a game I haven’t played or read a book I haven’t read.  I can’t play that MMO that I have a thousand hours in.  I can’t play the game I want to play for the 24th time.  I need to play something new.  I think part of it is bringing myself to focus on something that isn’t myself.  Not that I am thinking about myself all the time, but because the guilt is associated with myself.  It is getting into that flow of something I don’t know.

And that’s difficult.  It is so easy to pop back into an old game.  It is so easy to let the guilt consume me as I play Hearthstone even though I know I don’t want to be doing that.  It is a dangerous spiral.  I think this is a remnant from the productivity thing.  I still feel guilt over things like that.  I still don’t feel like I’ve succeeded in life to demand any sort of relief.  I feel guilty for being allowed to do the things that I want.  

Ultimately, I feel that perhaps this isn’t as healthy as I think.  I am still satisfying that guilt.  And while I really do feel great for doing something new, I need myself to come to terms with the fact that I should not be consuming any media out of guilt.  I should not be doing things because of guilt.  Guilt can be used as a way to motivate myself, but I feel like it’s doing harm in the realm of how “productive” my fun time can be.  Maybe if I’m at work, but not here.  I don’t think it’s healthy if it’s here in my entertainment space.

The mind is a forest that is extremely difficult to understand.  We can map it out, but becoming a navigator is much more difficult.  I never thought that playing games would be so complicated and mentally exhausting, but this is reality.  I want to grow as a person, as a video gamer, and I will need to manage these things if I am to do so.  Although I long for the simpler times of just playing games because I love games, I also enjoy this exploration of the self that helps me be a healthier me. 

Thanks for listening to my ramblings, and I hope that you can find healthy ways to navigate the forest of the mind.   

If all goes as planned, I will see you again later this week!

Elise

Why I Love: Subnautica

Fear and Fun

Subnautica is sci-fi, exploration-survival at its best.  Let’s dive right into it.  Er… sorry.

Subnautica is a survival game where you crash land on an ocean planet.  The normal survival mechanics exist where you have to manage hunger and thirst.  You’ll have to manage your oxygen as you dive into the depths.  You can scan objects and creatures to learn more about them and the absolutely rich ecosystem in the game.  You can build bases to expand your exploration prowess.  Subnautica excels at providing a beautiful ocean of creatures that gives you an amazing sense of wonder.  

I’m not exactly the keenest on survival mechanics.  They tend to get really annoying at some point.  I don’t want to have to find more food to eat.  I just want to explore, and while that option is available as a way to play the game, I definitely would not recommend it.  One of the difficult things about survival games is designing how the player manages their progression.  How do we make it so food is a challenge, but not annoying?  Should we make it so tools break?  And how do we design tiered tools?  Subnautica smooths out those experiences so these things rarely are an issue.  If you’re continuously doing your gameplay loop of survival, I feel like these things don’t ever feel like much of a problem in this game, but they receive just enough attention to make it still feel like you’re surviving on an alien planet.

This brings me to the thing that I enjoy so much: you don’t really have a weapon.  Okay, you get a knife early on, but that thing is puny.  It is clear in the game that you are a guest in a foreign world.  Creature designs are beautiful, strange, and sometimes dangerous.  The world is hand-crafted, so everything has its set place and I think that was the better way to go here.  Every time I stumble on a new area my mouth is agape.  I’ve really never felt such excitement and joy from exploring a new world as I do in Subnautica.  However, this may be a bit of a bias having studied biology as a focus in school.  I love learning about the physiological properties of creatures when I scan them.  I just…I need to scan them.  I need to know more.  If biological lore is a thing for you, then you’re playing the right game.  Or maybe you just like codices.

I’m also…incredibly scared of this game.  There is a story in the game and it is a game you can finish.  I love stories in games, but it’s also frightening that, in order to progress, sometimes you have to go into huge spaces of open water.  Maybe that’s also what makes Subnautica exploration so invigorating is that while there is a sense of awe upon finding a new biome or area, there is also fear.  You are a small human in a big ocean.  Sometimes all you can see is darkness or foggy water.  The fear is so natural.  It’s not like there is going to be a person with a pyramid head or a zombie leaping at you.  It is just…water.  I admit it, there have been times I swam forward and had my eyes half closed…maybe, maybe fully closed.  But I think this fear of the unknown is done very well here and is a core part of Subnautica.

Oxygen.  I’m going to say one thing that I think is both frightening and so visceral that I really love in Subnautica.  It’s getting lost in an underwater cave.  Perhaps you’ve heard this from divers or instructors before.  In real life, underwater caves are extremely dangerous to dive in.  If you don’t have a guide or a line to keep yourself in check, even experienced divers can die from lack of oxygen.  And all these things are definitely felt in Subnautica.  I think the intense panic I’ve had knowing my oxygen was running out and being completely disoriented from the multiple dimensions of being underwater is some of the best panic I’ve felt in video games.  Frantically and desperately swimming around hoping that I remembered things right.  It’s a rush.  I know I’ve run out of oxygen before in video games, but I think it’s the whole mise en scène and maybe claustrophobia of it all that makes it such a great underwater experience.  I mean, it is called Subnautica after all.

I hate spoilers, and definitely won’t ruin the game’s story here.  It is a good story though, and it is well worth your time, or at least I like it.  But like most things as games, it has to hold up well as an experience, and I don’t know if I’d play through the story if the way you move through the story wasn’t as well done.  I think in survival games, story tends to be pretty minimal.  I mean, actual survival games, I don’t mean open world games with survival elements.  Games like The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild are open world games with survival elements.  You do have to “survive”, but you can also get stronger and survival kind of gets cast to the wayside.  That first area with the plateau in Breath of the Wild is the survival part, the rest is exploration.  Mostly.  In Subnautica, you’re always just trying to survive.

I think the biggest factor of all these things is just awe.  It is a game that puts my feeling of how much I love exploring the world of video games into overdrive.  But even if this is so great, don’t go forcing yourself to like something if exploration is not your thing.  Perhaps you may find a certain aspect of it exciting enough, like creature design.  No matter how much I can praise a game on its strengths, if they’re not to your liking, it may be an unnecessary playthrough.  While I won’t deny those strengths are there, I would like to remind everyone that your opinions on what games to play are always valid.  Just remember that there may also be a new thing to love if you’re willing to give it a go.

Subnautica is a game that brings me back to childhood exploring Super Mario 64’s levels again.  And for a game that is good enough for making me want to keep playing even though I’m so scared of open water, it is #29 on the ULTRA.

Thanks for reading, I’ll see you again!
Elise

Note: If you’re feeling woozy because of being in the water and going around disorienting caves, try adjusting things like motion blur (…if the game has them I don’t remember because I always go straight to options to turn this off) and the field of view.  If you feel like puking, adjusting the field of view almost always seems to do the trick.

Slave to the Game

Deadly Dailies

I find it very interesting that the format that most mobile games use is that you have to come back every day.  They usually also give you a daily thing to do as well, to keep you there so that you’ll hopefully spend money on stuff that you want.  Now, you likely already know that I am one of those people that like to spend money on random stuff I want in a game.  So…this isn’t great.


It’s different when something is subscription based, and that’s all there is to it.  Ultimately, if I cannot play for the day, that is fine.  Sure, I didn’t use that one day I paid for a subscription, but I’m not going to tear myself apart for it.  There are also weekly dungeons and stuff in games like World of Warcraft, Guild Wars 2, or Final Fantasy XIV.  But again, less pressure because it’s a weekly thing.  

Games that are free like Genshin Impact or Hearthstone have dailies that they give you.  And while Hearthstone’s piles up to three at a time, Genshin’s dailies are extremely important.  I’ve actually decided to stop playing Genshin, which is a huge thing for me, because it has a strong cultural impact and I want to support Chinese games.  They deserve better love.  But all these games that want daily things done for them are starting to eat into my time.  By the time I have finished all the dailies for my games, I have no free time left.  That’s just it.  There’s no more of the day left after I get back from work, and it’s really cutting into my single player gaming time.

Not to mention the stress of it all.  Knowing that primogems from the dailies in Genshin were my only access to getting more characters, going in every day was a must.  Guild Wars 2 gives you two pieces of gold and achievement points, of which the latter is harder to come by.  However, both of those are still not a huge deal.  They’re important, but I’m not kicking myself for missing a day or three.  I think part of the stress of Genshin was that I started on Day 1 and I didn’t want to lose that streak.  

And now that I’ve stopped…it’s been extremely relieving.  This actually happened with Fire Emblem Heroes as well.  I don’t regret any of my time in both games.  I enjoyed them a lot, especially Genshin Impact.  But I can’t keep up with the time I have left in my day.  I spread myself thin trying to go to work, practice art, keep up with entertainment media, and do chores.  I usually paraphrase the line from Bill Watterson: “There’s not enough time to do all the nothing in the world.”  

I get myself so worked up about getting skins in games where I don’t play with people.  I usually play solo, even in multiplayer games.  I think for me it’s more of a “dress up” thing than it is presenting myself to people.  This means I still care about doing the time-limited stuff.  It still eats at me now, that I’m missing out on stuff in Genshin Impact and I have to push myself out of that mindset.  I guess the feeling of missing out is very real.  Worse even, Genshin Impact’s events also include lore and story elements, so if you miss out on that, you’ll never get to play that story.

However, I just can’t commit to this sort of binding anymore (says the person who plays Final Fantasy XIV).  I think it really started eating at me when I was looking at my subscriptions for streaming services and realizing how unsustainable it was getting.  I’m not “financially successful”, so I probably shouldn’t be writing about video games or something.  I’m starting to cut down on streaming services and other subscriptions because I can’t afford it anymore.  It goes both ways.  In a way, subscriptions really aren’t that much money.  Like, an hour’s worth of work, but many subscriptions start piling quick.  Amazon, Netflix, Hulu, Disney+, Discovery+, HBOMax, Humble Bundle, World of Warcraft, Final Fantasy XIV, and so many other possibilities almost without notice.  It ends up becoming several days worth of work.  I don’t have all those, thank goodness, but look how fast it happens.  And don’t forget the subscription to life, like food and other monthly paid services.  Even if some streaming services are shared in a group it still is so much money in the long run.

It really is that feeling that I might not have the means to play catch up and be with the crowd, but I also would like to not be homeless.  Also, ironically, all this talk about subscription and demanded time makes me realize mobile games really should not be isolated for this.  Many games are like this and we should stop stigmatizing that only to mobile/free-to-play games.  I always mention how we should be healthy about our approach to video games and life, and yet here I was slaving away my time.  I’m glad I noticed, because the stress relief has been very helpful during a stressful time outside of video gaming.  Playing what I want to play has been so cathartic, and it makes me wonder what other underlying stress comes from me restricting myself.


I feel like all this focus on fomo really diverts people’s gaming away from fun.  Fun almost always requires that you’re not worried about time and meta-efficiency.  Until time begins its stretch into the eternities, we mortals have to make sure that we’re not burying ourselves in the chains that we believed bound us to our passions.  

Stay safe out there, I’ll see you next time!
Elise

I Didn’t Know What I Was Doing

Reminiscing on the Misunderstood

Sometimes after I’ve played a game for a while, I will look back at places that seemed new, or concepts that I didn’t quite understand and feel nostalgia.  I mean, the game has to be at least a couple hours long or something, but the mind space where everything looks and feels different brings nostalgia.  These cases especially so when I think about games that I played in my childhood and teens.  There were so many times when, looking back, the ideas I had were so ridiculous.


I remember playing SimCity 3000 Unlimited, and trying to build a city.  My young mind absolutely did not comprehend the logistics behind good city planning.  I had no idea what I was doing, but I was having a ton of fun.  I mean, there were always the pre-made cities that you can purposely destroy using the disasters.  I admit I did have fun with that.  But I really like the moments where I was still struggling to understand not just games, but systems in general.  I didn’t understand commercial and residential zones!  Why were people abandoning their homes!?  I built too little power plants, and now I built too many?  

If I remember correctly, there was a point where a neighboring city wanted to buy the extra electricity and I was like, “Yeah, that sounds great!”  I then proceeded to zone a ton of lots and they were like, “This isn’t working out.”  And I was so confused and did not realize all those lots were using that supposed extra electricity I had.  I mean, this is basic stuff, right?  But I was still growing and understanding how things connect and work.  I think this kind of slow, personal learning of systems is one of the longer, persistent barriers to newer players.  However, when we’re young we have the time, and by the time we’re older we have that experience.  It’s like when you start a new hobby any time after high school or college, everything feels slow and miserable because you’ve had zero experience here.  It’s that beginning growth we have to get over (and trying to find time to practice because later in life time is very lacking).

Two other games where I didn’t get it yet were Age of Empires and Starcraft.  Misunderstanding resources and how to manage them (I never learned until much later).  In Starcraft, believing that the pylons warped in units (which they do in Starcraft II).  I was going to go on more about these two other games, but I realized they’re both real time strategy games.  In fact, SimCity is kind of a real time strategy game as well!  Let me think of something that has had similar experiences that aren’t RTS games…


There’s a bit of that in the old point and click adventure games.  I feel like these classic adventures are making a bit of a comeback, but some of the old ones have some major barriers to newcomers.  I remember playing Indiana Jones and the Fate of Atlantis and I could not for the life of my young mind understand some of the logistics.  I didn’t understand the systems of point and click games.  I didn’t understand showing objects to NPCs, asking about information, or knowing what things look likely clickable (or to click on less obvious clickable things).

In other point and click games I didn’t understand, as Sean “Day[9]” Plott calls it, “moon logic.”  Some crazy, “unfathomable to the normal person” logic as to why that NPC needed a dog bowl.  Or why, for some strange reason, that person needed bird seed, but the game somehow connects that to your objective and hey, somehow that bird seed gave you the casino coin you needed to get into the building.  Every long once in a while, I do play point and click games.  There are few genres I refrain from.  I think people might think of them as old school.  Perhaps they’re not for everyone, but I still think people should try the genre if they haven’t yet.  Sometimes it makes me feel smart, especially compared to young Elise who had no idea what the world she was doing sometimes.


I suppose other genres are a lot more intuitive so this kind of misunderstanding is less of a thing, but huge RPGs like Guild Wars 2 or Genshin Impact still have that feeling.  Still trying to understand how specializations for your classes worked in Guild Wars or not knowing how to manage daily resin properly in Genshin Impact.  I think some people, especially in games that entice you in for daily play or mobile games, are afraid of not being efficient enough in the beginning and just going in like a train. Full force and full efficiency.  But I like the feeling of going in blind and wandering around like a child, full of wonder and excitement.

I will always have that feeling of nostalgia in games because I usually go in blind.  I trust the track record that I love almost every game I play and let this experience be a thing.  

I’m not afraid to go in blind, because I love the sense of wonder.  I feel like we have the most fun when we’re not thinking about being productive.  We’re not thinking about having to know everything.  I mean, according to the supposed spoilers research, people do like knowing things beforehand, so I could be totally wrong.  

But that’s just the thing, I feel happy that I didn’t know what I was doing back then, or whenever I start a new game.  I love the chaos and the unknown.  I think it is because I enjoy that feeling of discovery that I’m okay with being bad at things (…sometimes).  That isn’t to say we’re to go about making gaming difficult for ourselves or anything.  I mean, obviously sometimes it doesn’t feel great in the moment, but in the end I’m grateful for all the ups and downs.

That’s life, though.  Maybe all this thinking is making me be more grateful for all the life I’ve had so far: the good and the bad.  I’m grateful for both.  I’ll just keep learning and growing. I just didn’t know what I was doing, and, every once in a while, I can say I know now.  And I’m okay with that.  

Thanks for reading, I’ll see you again next time.

Elise

The One Note NPCs

Love the passions

This is for those NPCs in video games that have great designs, but they’re pretty one note.  I’m talking about the NPCs who are so focused on a single goal in their life.  Their character designs are usually fantastic and when you meet them you feel like you can immediately get what they’re like.  The eccentric bug collector that will buy all your bugs or take them for upgrades.  The man that is so fascinated by this very, very specific kind of rock that will give you a bunch of cash for them.  And those rocks just happen to be in places of great achievement.  

I know that these characters are frequently just filling in the niche roles of some side quests or collectibles, but there is so much darn character in them and I love them.  We’re always pushing for more interesting and complex characters, but the passion in someone so one note in these games, which are usually RPGs, is so charming.  I can’t get over how happy I am for this person when I finally find that golden beetle or whatever it is they’re collecting.

Maybe they’re someone fascinated by flowering vines, and it turns out flowering vines indicate secret climbable areas.  If it weren’t for this person saying, “Oh, look at that one.  That flower is purple.  Ooh!  This one is pink!  Oh, I just love flowering vines.  Don’t you?” we never would’ve guessed!  Okay, maybe we might’ve guessed, but it’s a cute way to point out things.  I admit sometimes these people can be a bit annoying, like the guy in Pokemon who just wants to teach you how to catch a Pokemon.  I get that that is an important aspect of the game, sir, but I do want to move on with the game.  But still, his passion is noted, and I’m glad he just wants to share it.

I guess that’s a good sign of someone who is very passionate about things: they want to share their knowledge and their experiences.   It’s the reason why we don’t talk about certain things in games, because we want people to experience the same shock and awe that we went through not knowing a plot twist or something.  

If you’re reading this article, it’s likely you’re passionate about games.  That’s great!  However, it is also quite likely there is something else outside of games that you’re super into as well.  Maybe the people in these worlds do have other things they’re chasing after but we just don’t know it in the context of the game.  Luckily for us, we can always have many passions.  It’s still great if games are your only passion!  Don’t let me stop you there!  

I get excited with people just starting to get into video games, but fully committing to them.  Sometimes they struggle with the disparity between the controller and their character.  Maybe they’re getting used to understanding game system intuition.  But they still push on through, and it makes me so happy to see them develop a new love for something.  Their growth is just as important as mine no matter how long I’ve developed mine.  

Wait a minute, maybe in your world, I am the NPC who is just really passionate about video games.  Well, I suppose then that you’re part of the community and I’m one of many video game loving NPCs.  Don’t let other people push you away from what you love.  If what you love is starting to get unhealthy because you’re staying up until four in the morning to play, okay, maybe slow it down a little.  Don’t let your dreams be thrown away by someone who doesn’t own them.  A small insight from someone who has let that happen, it is debilitating and humiliating.  It really cut into how I felt about my self esteem and self worth.  Let’s be frank, the video game community can be choking to the individual.  They can easily smother what they hype up.  It has taken me years and years to repair the damage, and I’m still working on it today.

Oppositely, that is why I love those NPCs.  They are unabashedly showing off that they love this thing.  They’re (usually) not interrupting anyone else’s lives, but they definitely want to talk about their excitement for something.  They’re free.  

Too many times I regret falling to that choking idea that what I love to do isn’t good enough for someone else.  Or even that I’m not “hardcore” enough to have a passion to belong to a community or something. 

And that simply isn’t true.  I hope none of us ever has to feel embarrassed about what we love.  

Thanks for reading, I’ll see you again.

Elise